so how's this for holiday ridiculousness: i had to check three grocery stores before i found candied fruit! you know, the stuff you put in fruitcake...

store number one
me: do you know if you have candied fruit?
clerk: (blank look) ummm
me: you know, the stuff you put in fruitcake...
clerk: (brightening slightly) maybe check the baking department. (note: i'd already done this, but because of past experiences of asking for things that were right in front of my face, i went along with it) doesn't look like we have it here. i'll ask over in produce.
clerk 2: candied fruit? you mean something like this? (holds up container of dried fruit)
me: no, i'm looking for the stuff you put in fruitcake. it's covered in a syrupy stuff and comes in a clear plastic container.
clerk 2: oh, i know what you mean. if we have it, it would be over here. (leads way to displays of specially holiday stuffs) no, it doesn't look like we have it; if we had it, it would be out by now.
me: thanks anyway

store number two
me: do you know if you have candied fruit?
clerk: no we don't carry it.
me: thanks

store number three
me: do you know if you have candied fruit? the stuff you put in fruitcake?
clerk: oh, hmm. let me get someone from produce.
store pa: ---, please dial 521.

meanwhile i wander through produce and find a table tucked half way between produce and holiday baking with, lo and behold, candied fruit! and not just the basic mixed fruit i was looking for, but varieties of the gooey stuff. i was half tempted to pick up samples of all of them just so i could prove their existence. i contented myself with picking up one extra tub to save for next year. who knows where i'll be, or if i'll be able to find enough stores to check.